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12 step guide to Anal Sex

Anal sex guide for maximum pleasure and to avoid pain.

Learning how to bottom isn’t something that comes with a guide. The reality is that for many gay men, anal sex can be a real source of anxiety. It wasn’t that long ago that being gay was something that one had to hide because of understandable concerns about being judged.

In fact, to some degree, there still exists anti-gay sentiment in many parts of the world. With the legalization of same sex marriage however, it does appear societal views are changing.

And so, the purpose of this page is to help you as a gay men understand the unique dynamics involved with anal intercourse with your man. Let’s walk you through some of the science of anal sex and offer a set of tips designed to make the experience as comfortable, pleasurable and pain free as possible.

Anal sex: Anal Anatomy

Before moving into the “How to anal sex” tips, it is important to understand the anatomy of the anus. Similar to your penis, the anus is wired with tons of sensitive nerve endings. When properly executed, these nerve endings can make riding a guy very pleasurable.

At its core, the anus is the external opening of the rectum. Inside, it is controlled by two small rings of muscles referred to as external and internal sphincters. You have the ability to control your external sphincter. The internal sphincter, however, is involuntary in nature, meaning you don’t have the ability to control.

What often happens is that when the two sphincters and too tight (tense), it challenging and painful for a penis to enter – particularly if it is large. If the sphincters are in a relaxed state however, they have the ability to stretch and expand, allowing you to anal sex of any size.

Like your penis, your rectum is filled with super sensitive nerve endings. This is why riding a guy is so pleasurable for many gay and bi men – as well as women.

During anal intercourse, your prostate gland (a small, walnut-sized gland that is nestled between your bladder and penis) can be stimulated, which a lot of guys find enjoyable.

Some people call the prostate gland the male G-spot, which can amplify feelings of pleasure.

anal sex

Anal Sex: The Psychology

Most guys who get fucked will tell you that half of the stimulation from the experience comes from the psychological aspects. Sitting on top of a man that you are very attracted to can be hot, erotic, intimate and romantic.

Some men have shared that the experience itself promotes strong feelings of wholeness. Others have even said there is a spiritual aspect involved.

Get to Know Your Anus

To experience pleasure when you have anal sex, it is vital that you get to know your anus. This means becoming comfortable with everything going on down there. Just like you got to know your penis earlier in life, the same holds true for your rectum.

If you experience strong feelings of shame about this, you might want to think about talking to a professional because your emotions can have a lot to do with how successful the anal sex experience will be.

One approach is to lay flat on your back on your bed or even in a warm tub. Once you feel relaxed, start to gently massage the area around your hole. As time goes on and you feel more comfortable, add a little lube to your middle finger.

With gentle care, gently press up against the surface of your anus. You will want to do this several times and increase pressure incrementally.

When you are ready, insert your finger into your hole, slowly and gently. The goal is to relax the external sphincter (the one mentioned earlier that you have control over).

As you wiggle around a bit inside, you may be able to feel your prostate gland. It will feel like a small walnut, around 2-3 inches inside of your rectum.

 

You may have to repeat the above several times over the course of several days in order to feel comfortable with something inside of your hole. As you continue to gain confidence and feel comfortable – and hopefully pleasure – you can then move on to experimenting with toys. The trick is to go super slow and use lots of lubricant.

Anal Sex and Lube

Many men have reported that the best lube that provides the most pleasure are brands like SpunkLube. The reason being is that Spunklube is silicone based, which provides greater lubrication and more “slip” at the time of insertion.

Here is a tip that you likely won’t hear elsewhere. It helps a lot before getting fucked (particularly by a large one) to use a lube launcher. These devices are specifically designed to coat your anus with lubricant so that you’re ready to rock. You can get your launcher directly from www.namastegaysextoys.com

This point can’t be emphasized enough. The more you use the better. As time goes on, you may not need as much but don’t worry about that right now. There’s no shame in making sure you are properly slicked up.

 FYI: Some guys find that using a desensitizing lubricant for anal works best – particularly for newbies or for men who have large partners.

 

12 Tips for good anal sex

Now that we have walked through the ins and outs (no pun intended) of the anus, it’s time to explore some tips for anal sex. The following suggestions are designed to help you experience as much pleasure as possible while minimizing pain.

  1. Anal sex cleanliness

The very first thing you will want to do is make sure you are clean down there. One of the most embarrassing things that can happen is when you are getting fucked and something unfortunate happens. That’s why beginner bottoms need carefull cleaning to avoid these kinds of accidents.

      2.Anal sex and condoms.

The second suggestion that is to have anal sex with a condom. While it is true that we live in an age of PREP, there are still risks involved with the potential spread of various STIs.

The ultimate choice to fuck with a condom is obviously up to you.

  1. Anal sex mindset

If you are going to anal sex, it is important to be in the right mindset. This means being in a relaxed state of mind and not stressed out by the day’s events.

 Some guys claim that getting fucked helps them to decompress and feel less stress. While this may be true, there is a difference between stress and anxiety.

 Generally speaking, stress is the byproduct of cumulative events or responsibilities. Anxiety, on the other hand, is a function of mood. To help in both areas, consider listening to relaxing music or meditating may help bring about feelings of calmness.

  1. Anal sex and eating

One of the biggest turn offs for both the top and the bottom during anal sex is the sound of bodily fluids and/or gas. This is why you don’t want to eat anything a good two to four hours before sitting on a guy.

If you are able to, reduce use of milk products and other belly bloating foods prior to intercourse. When you are gassy, it can act as a barrier to pleasure and potentially cause discomfort.

  1. Anal sex and Size

One of the biggest myths floating around is that in order to experience pleasure when you get fucked, the man needs to be large. While it is true that a big cock can be fun to play with, it doesn’t have to be enormous when it comes to fucking.

Guys who have an average size penis often can provide loads of pleasure when it comes to rectal intercourse. In fact, sometimes larger sized guys can cause feeling of uncomfortableness.

  1. Anal sex Control

Just because you are doing the bottoming doesn’t mean you aren’t in control. While some men who get fucked identify as total bottoms, this doesn’t mean they are all submissive.

When you first start your anal adventures, make it clear to your partner that he needs to be slow and that you will control the rate and speed of insertion. Don’t let him get all commando on you and pretend he is a power-drill. There will be plenty of time for that later when you gain experience and confidence.

  1. Fuck with your Hands

Part of the control step as previously mentioned requires the use of your hands. If possible, wrap your palm around your guy’s cock and give it a few quick “pumps” so that it is firm.

Once it feels hard, use plenty of lube on the top and sides of his cock. There’s no such thing as too much lube so be generous. Also, take some of the excess lubricant with your finger and wet the outer and inner parts of your rectum.

  1. Anal sex Squat

If you are new to anal sex, the easiest position to start out with is the squat. Here, you will lie your man flat on his back on the floor or on a bed.

Crouching over him and using the points mentioned above (particularly number 7), slowly and gently engulf his cock. Don’t try to rush this. Instead, do a little bit at a time, half inch by half inch. If you need to pause several times during the process, it is completely OK.

  1. Anal sex Popper Free

Some guys who ride men suggest the use of a brown bottle to help create a more erotic experience.

 As a general rule, anything that alters your awareness during fucking has the ability to take-away from the experience. This includes other substances, such as alcohol or marijuana. Obviously, the choice is your but there’s something to be said about the natural experience.

  1. Anal sex Breathing

When you first start riding a guy, it is important to control your breathing. You may be tempted to hold your breath during the insertion process. This is a bad idea because it causes your blood pressure to rise and heartbeat to increase.

Instead, take slow, deliberate breaths. Some men report that they are able to detach from their physical body through mindfulness based breathing techniques.

  1. Anal sex Participation

Another helpful tip when sliding up and down a nice cock is to get your guy involved. The truth is, you don’t have to do all of the work.

When the time is right, ask him to do some gentle thrusting. Nothing rapid or anything like that. Again, the idea is slow and gentle. By having him participate, you conserve energy while allowing him to be more active.

  1. Anal sex Positions

Once you have reached a place of comfortableness, it is completely OK to switch positions. This means moving out of the “crouch” position mentioned earlier and doing something different.

Practical examples include lying on your back, “mission style” and doing in on your side. Additionally, for ultimate pleasure, you may want to let him ride you and take turns. Doing so can maximize feelings of intimacy and pleasure. For extended play, it may help if both of you wear a quality cock ring.

 


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